Through his work in the media industry and over 20 years of implementing speech therapy techniques, Garry Smith discovered that peoples' diagnosis of stammering, professional or social, can be both flimsy and inconsistent. He has written his own account on the art of communication.

As the potter moulds: Garry Smith with Vanessa Waller, a professional potter from Wooler in Northumberland. Photo by Jim McAdam

6.0 is seen as the perfect score in ice-skating, 347 as the perfect break in snooker and 180 as the perfect score in darts. People are always striving for perfection in sport, career or in family life. Perfection and success are the ultimate goals, but they come with their own pressures and downfalls. Speech is no different.

The world of press and PR is littered with individuals and organisations wanting to be noticed. Image, style and identity are crucial for recognition in a society that thrives on attention. My role as press and PR officer for Northern Arts requires communicating with national, regional and local press to promote artist stories. Each story could demand 20 - 30 phone calls, following up key facts and details. Liaising with journalists, photographers and the artists requires a level of patience and tact. Communication is vital when working in such a fickle industry, where interaction is seen as your most important skill.

A splitter. A splutter.
Known as a stutter.
Heads turn away,
Really meaning to say,
"What a freak, can't he speak? How tragic!"

I persevered with speech and language therapy on and off for over twenty years. On reflection after seven or eight speech therapists, I can honestly say they did me no favours at all. I'm not saying they didn't bring to my attention the finer points of my disfluency, but it's the way in which they went about their task that raises conflict.

School life and early adolescence is difficult enough without having to put up with extra pressures. My memory of school is tarnished by recollection of unhappy moments which are mainly about my speech. I always sat on the borderline never pushing myself to my full potential, as it meant verbally contributing and risking taunts. The frustration of knowing the answers and holding back from sticking my hand up to answer the question in fear of jesting remarks.

Simply, treat the person and the problem. Professionals tend to forget that under the speech techniques, practice sessions and exercises, that a person with feelings is absorbing the covert tears and frustration. Teaching me how to say, "Seventy seven sausages served in Senegal" did little to help me speak in public.

At the age of 16 I was given the opportunity to map out the direction I wanted my future to take. Three college courses lasting over five years proved to be a crucial element of my personal development. Leaving home at 17 wasn't an easy move, leaving behind my family who had been there for me all of the time, never applying any pressure and always allowing me just to be me. Further education allowed me to grow up as an individual both academically and as a person. It was a brilliant life experience that I would definitely recommend.

It's ok, this ........... time delay.
Nerves conquer all,
People small, fat, and tall.
Female or male?
The hurtful names become stale.
Oh how I wish for remorse.
These words being pushed out by force.
Emotions run high,
Like a knotted pain grey cloud in the sky.
Being squeezed from within,
Close to the skin,
Like a burdened sponge during fight night.

Breathing and Posture:

Address the person and the problem. Two separate pieces of advice totally changed my mind's focus.

The first piece of advice came quite recently from a speech and language therapist, who told me - "You haven't actually got a stammer."

This completely altered my attitude towards myself.

"What do you mean I haven't got a stammer? I have been told and treated for over twenty years that I stammered! What has changed?"

They highlighted that my people skills needed targeting and avoidance was my negative barrier against communicating with other people.

I was concentrating too much on how other people perceived me, and not enough about the basic factors of communication.

It all started to fall into place, how I have been avoiding situations all of my life, and blaming the stammer for my inadequacies. I always thought that I would grow out of my stammer or that the doctors would cure it. The word cure cropped up a lot during conversations with friends and family. My new approach has been to live with my stammer and not let it rule my life.

The second piece of advice was regarding breathing and posture. Watching myself stammering in the mirror was a shock tactic that enabled me to understand what perception other people had of my actions. It brought to my attention the physical and visual elements of my stammer. Changing my posture and breathing routines gave me the confidence to tackle other obstacles.

Living with my stammer continues to conjure up new ways of controlling my breathing and overall relaxation. A very successful method of control that I found beneficial was yoga and meditation. Combining the two elements enabled me to experience a sensation, which can be revisited with careful thought and attention. This can prove priceless for using at work and in pressure situations. If you can tell your body how to relax at a moments notice, then you can be in control of your emotions. The secret is being able to change your lifestyle and frame of mind. Simple things include - diet, exercise and gaining the right amount of sleep. These can provide you with the ammunition to manage your problem. Being in control of your daily routine is vital to how you feel about yourself, allowing you to gain self-confidence.

Self confidence is a personal gift that should be treasured, bottled and stored in a safe place for those dark and bleak moments of hesitancy in your daily routine. Not everyone can predict when nervousness will raise its evil head and control your day.

The main area of my lifestyle in which I've been able to successfully implement the breathing and relaxation methods has been using the telephone at work. On previous occasions the mere ring tone could cause me anxiety. But now with the combination of relaxation and mental focus, a couple of deep breaths can propel me into a relaxed state of mind. Allowing me to concentrate on the conversation and not worry about any kind of speech block.

Another simple exercise that has been crucial to improving my people skills has been keeping eye contact during a face-to-face conversation. Keeping my breathing at a steady pace and retaining the eye contact can induce confidence and prove an invaluable tool. This method keeps you calm and collected, and puts the person who is talking with you at ease.

Communicating is one of the most natural functions in life, and shouldn't be seen as a negative obstacle. No one should have the power to judge or categorise a person just because they have disfluency or a stammer. People are becoming genuinely impatient as society is speeding up, expecting things faster & quicker. Time needs to be allocated for communicating, or people will continue to stammer the moment they have to open their mouth to speak.

Fight for your voice, and for the right to individuality. Your manner of speech might not be perfect, or sound exactly like Eton-esque English. But what can be classified as perfect? Life is difficult enough without the extra anxiety and pressure of perfection.

"Why me?"
"Why, not!"
Stammering started the rot.
Two arms, two legs and a head.
I say to myself I still have my health.
But that's not the argument in hand.
My breathing's not right,
Screwed up eyes block my sight,
As paranoia runs through my veins.

Garry Smith is the Press & PR Officer for Northern Arts, The Arts Council of England.

From the Autumn 2002 edition of Speaking Out