I've lost count of the number of times I've gone into a therapy group or a workshop absolutely bursting with excitement, ready to let loose and express myself freely - only to feel slightly deflated when the first thing that's said is "right, let's all relax". I don't know about you, but I find it difficult to calm down on cue. In fact there's nothing more likely to stop me from relaxing than someone telling me to 'relax' or 'calm down' when I'm on an excitement roll. Or when someone tells me to relax without there being any good reason to relax.

Part of the relaxation culture in stammering therapy I believe comes from a misguided belief that 'When I am excited I stammer more, therefore I need to clam down and speak slowly'. Here, I believe a distinction needs to be made between 'speaking too quickly' and 'speaking with excitement'.

Yes - when I speak too quickly I am more likely to trip over my words. But when I speak with excitement at my own natural rhythm, the words just flow. This is because I am speaking with more emotion and I am being more spontaneous. Have you ever found that when you speak about something you have a passion for, the words just come out? Have you ever noticed too, that when people speak with passion their body language comes instinctively, that they use more of their expressive capabilities?

I also feel a distinction needs to be made between 'being calm' and 'denying excitement'. Calm is a genuine emotion rather than a façade. To experience true calm, you have to experience many emotions at the other end of the scale, which you will not experience if you 'deny excitement'.

When I deny excitement to avoid stammering I am solely focussed on words. I am being less expressive. I am not being emotional - I am monitoring myself for impulses of excitement. I am against excitement because I think it will lead me to stammering. I am not letting excitement through therefore I am not letting myself through. I am concerned with having a nice exterior, of being calm, of achieving a state of emotional paralysis. The expressive capabilities of body language are similarly paralysed.

The paradox is that the more excited I get - the calmer I become. I am no longer a perfectionist. I am less hung up. I am having fun.

In stammering therapy there are no shortage of people telling you to calm down, no shortage of relaxation exercises. But what about the wild, rebellious, off the cuff, totally outrageous things you want to express?

Expanding my self image has been a hugely important factor in personal growth and addressing my stammering. Since joining BSA five years ago, I have attempted to do this by finding new outlets for my personal expression - everything from taking up martial arts to simply talking about my feelings. I have outlets where I can experience and accept all my feelings no matter how positive or negative they may be.

Only through experiencing my anger, aggression, arrogance, conceit, vanity, intolerance, and restlessness - have I been able to more fully experience kindness, generosity, love, happiness, respect and calm.

I believe that working towards a sense of peace and fulfillment is a tremendously positive thing, but 'denying excitement' is not. I believe that to be truly calm we must experience everything.

The mild façade is a mask holding back the true feelings.

From the Autumn 2005 edition of Speaking Out

Also by George Campbell:
Taking risks is the safest option
It's just the beginning: BSA conference 2004
Stammering on the radio