Howard's Way
By Vijay Patel

It is with great pride that I was asked to write this article about Howard Yaffe who recently played the male lead in a theatre production that entertained thousands and got him rave reviews. Howard's journey to this point in his life may not be as talked about as Gareth Gates' from ITV's Pop Idol show, but is no less inspiring and a testament to what the human spirit can achieve.

Howard's first dysfluent memory, aged 5, was in an infant school classroom when having answered his name at register, the boy next to him said, "you said yyyes miss". (Howard can still remember his name). Well, from that moment on the die was cast. Howard had just experienced for the first time that rush of embarrassment and anxiety associated with his dysfuency and the process of reinforcement had begun.

Concerned about her son, Howard was taken by his mum to their GP at 8 years old where she was reassured that "it was just a phase he was going through" and "that he would grow out of it!" Unfortunately he did not. It was when the process of reinforcement had reached its peak that Howard, at 10, had his first experience of speech therapy. It continued for the next 15 years with one to one and group therapy, which is where I first met him. Although he became very knowledgeable about the issue of stammering, he now realises that he did not have the inner drive and determination to put anything into practice. Ironically he was still denying the fact that he had a speech problem and until he accepted that he could not move forward.

The lowest point for Howard was, when desperate for help, he turned to a hypnotherapist who had no experience of working with people with speech problems. The hypnotherapist was baffled and told Howard the following week that he had brain damage and that part of his recovery lay in breathing into a paper bag every 40 minutes! Unfortunately he did not relieve Howard of anything but £200, and some of the little confidence and self-esteem he had left.

A time when there were significant shifts in Howard's process of development was after an eight-week course led by Louise Wright. He realised that after twenty years of totally focusing on his dysfluency he had completely neglected one of his greatest assets, his natural fluent speech. By this he did not mean fluency 100 percent of the time as he felt this was not realistic and no-one is capable of this. He also knew that this was something he had to do himself and that for the past 15 years he had been relying on other people to "magic" his speech problem away.

So with a renewed sense of hope that seemed to ignite a spark in him, Howard set off trying to get his life in order and deal with his speech problem. At this time he left the security of permanent employment and established himself as a self employed graphic designer. Having just bought a computer he discovered the internet and was bombarded with information from around the world when he searched under the word 'stammer'. It was a course in Scotland run by Andrew Bell that caught his imagination. So off he went with an incredibly positive mind, believing this was going to help him. It was on this course that Howard realised for the first time in his life that he could actually influence and change the way he spoke.

When he returned home after the course Howard practised the technique every day as required. He then started to question whether he wanted to practise in this way forever. It dawned on him that if he did, he would once again be obsessively thinking about fluency and that would be taking a step back to the way he was before the course, trying to be fluent all the time. So he decided instead to use the technique when he wanted and needed to. However he knew that he still occasionally needed to feel what dysfluency was like in order to deal with the feelings and emotions generated. At 40, for the first time Howard had real peace of mind. He knew he could control his speech whenever he wanted by resisting time pressure - not to mention removing the "violence" from his speech and having a forward momentum in contrast to the stop-start struggles of the past.

Having developed his own technique and way of thinking, Howard acknowledges that he could not have achieved it without the foundation of his past speech therapy. He says there is no right or wrong way, simply what is right for the individual. From Howard's perspective the main elements in his progress were the structured, self disciplined and intensive nature of the approach he chose. This made him realise that taking responsibility for his own progress was the key to his better speaking future.

With his confidence and self esteem at a new high he realised that in the past he had not had anywhere near full value from Howard Yaffe. He felt it was his duty to include himself fully in life and not hold back anymore. In the past he was always on the outskirts looking in, but now he jumps in with both feet and wants to encourage and inspire other people to jump in as well. "The same feeling that prevented me from speaking also prevented me from fully involving myself in society and life," he said.

During the past few years Howard has continually stretched his comfort zones. His graphic design business is now a great success. He played an inspirational role on the organising committee of the 1999 BSA conference in Manchester where he presented his own workshop. Other successes include climbing Mount Snowdon three times in twelve hours to help raise more than £3000 for BSA and appearing on a live television interview about his speech.

Not content to stand still and having accepted an invitation to join a local theatre group, Howard went from being in the chorus line of his first production to an incredible success as the male lead in his next, entertaining hundreds at a time in a series of sell-out shows.

Howard however, is very quick to point out that he takes as much pleasure in simply being able to say his name. He recalls being asked "What's your name?" and the anxiety and pressure that question brought him. It is quite clear that it gives him as much pleasure just to be able to say.. "I'm Howard Yaffe", as his greatest achievements, if not more.

Today, it's fair to say that Howard has never been happier. He has high self-esteem, inner contentment and has never been more in touch with who he really is. "I'm really getting to like Howard Yaffe, after years of wondering who he was," he said.

Many people reading this article could see Howard as a role model. When asked how he would feel about this, Howard said that he would be pleased if he had inspired just one person to do something they always wanted to do without denying themselves the opportunity to get the best out of life.

As for the future, a future project is climbing Mount Snowdon a gruelling four times in 13 hours and raising thousands of pounds in sponsorship for BSA. On a more personal note he would like to be married one day and reflects that he is only just getting to the point where he is ready to meet that special someone. As for his passion for the theatre, Howard wants to be the lead in a West End show. At this point he starts to ask himself questions like "How do I get there?" "Have I got the ability to do it?" to which he answers, "I'll have fun finding out, it's certainly a challenge and I'm up for challenges!"

Whether you are 17 like Pop Idol Gareth Gates or 44 like Howard it is never too early or too late to fulfil your potential and make your dreams come true.

From the Winter/Spring 2002 edition of Speaking Out