The message I would like to give out to people through my story is that you should never be afraid to express yourself. Don't be shy or embarrassed by what other think of you.
By Alan Barozi, Reading, Berkshire

I was born in 1974 in Tanzania. In those days my country wasn't developed and it was a case of either get an education or nothing.

The main issue with my growing up was I never knew I had a stammer until I realised that other pupils were laughing at me when I spoke. I wasn't really worried about this at this time.

I used to do fine in schools, but when it came to presentations it was something else. I couldn't speak to my parents or anyone about this because I felt embarrassed about it. I don't blame them at all. They most probably thought it would gradually get better in time.

I tried to avoid being asked questions in school, and would think of one word answers as much as I could. The other students didn't laugh at me every time but there were times that they used to be smirking and laughing at me. I did have some really nice school friends that understood my problems, but the rest of them were something else.

I loved sport because there was no reason for me to talk much, but my wish was to do better with my speech.

My teenage life was pretty difficult in terms of speaking but I did enjoy a lot of it with my friends and family. I just wasn't confident in myself when you know that something is wrong or different in yourself. However, I think I have been really lucky in some ways as my parents have always been really nice to me whatever the situation.

At boarding school in Kenya things were better. I couldn't believe that here I was chatting to all the new students and when I did stammer they didn't laugh at me.

At this time of my life I decided that now it is time to face the real world with or without speech.

At college, I didn't get involved in the drinking groups with everyone ganging up on everyone else, luckily for me. I was too worried that I would stammer and give everyone the perfect opportunity to laugh and shout names at me.

During school and college some students really tried to push me to the limits and in these situations I would either laugh back at them or say nothing and walk away. At the time I think this was the only way I felt I could handle the situation sensibly. On the whole, the thing that I am most proud of myself is that I didn't ever fight at school, however much the other students picked on me.

Although my friends were great, thinking back they never showed their true feelings about any problems or concerns they may have had. This was the time in my life where I began to realise that I needed to open up to myself and others. Otherwise it could be a long upwards struggle.

When I left school and helped in the family business, my family felt that I should move to England and learn about the real world.

My friends soon told me all sorts of stories about England. After this I was getting quite fascinated with the idea of moving to England and seeing the world.

To tell the truth, when everything was confirmed that I was going to England I was terrified.

When we arrived in Heathrow I was amazed how big it was. We took a taxi to my Dad's friend's hotel in London. I loved the London taxis and also on the way to the hotel I was taken back by the double decker buses as we didn't have these in my country. I was fascinated. I now plan to live in the UK and return home to see my family at Easter and Christmas.

The message I have to everyone out there if you stammer, be faithful to yourself and believe in what you are. You need to be open to yourself and the people around you and get help!

Face facts and reality.

From the Spring 2006 edition of Speaking Out, page 16