Renée Byrne 1929-2011

Last year, the stammering world lost a great friend and therapist. Renée Byrne died on 4th December 2011. Here four contributors, starting with her family, provide some insights into her life and work.

Lover of knowledge

Renée was a very private woman, but one who could always find something to laugh about even in moments of adversity; a woman who showed great determination and who provided amazing inspiration and support to others while loving so much of what life has to offer. She was a friend; a wordsmith and author; a therapist and a lecturer; a wife to the actor Peter Byrne; a mother to her children, Anthony and Vivien; a sister; a wonderful grandmother to all of her grandchildren, Pennie, Harry, Natalie and Robby; and a supreme solver of problems.

Renée was a lover of knowledge of all sorts. She was a great adapter all the way through her life from sterling to decimalisation, from analogue to digital, PC to laptop, handheld to mobile - no gadget or invention could defeat her need to embrace the new and then fiddle with it. She was one of the first of her friends to use predictive text on her mobile as well as Skype!

Renée originally trained at RADA but in the 1960s trained as a speech and language therapist (SLT). As a mature student she stood out from the others - Renée was a widow in her mid-thirties with two young children. She achieved the highest mark in the whole country when she qualified as a speech and language therapist. Friendships from those days remained solid as most of her friendships did, and what seems to be the underlying theme of most people's personal thoughts are that when being with Renée there was usually time to 'help set the world to rights', and that she always encouraged people to embrace challenges.

Renée enjoyed culture of all types and she loved to travel with her husband Peter. She enjoyed visiting historic houses with her friends, visited art galleries with her son, Anthony, and enjoyed film, the opera and west end musicals with her daughter, Vivien and granddaughter, Pennie. For many people, Renée was the voice of reason and common sense. She will be truly sadly missed.

Vivien and Anthony, Renée's daughter and son

Helped me change my life

Renée Byrne (right), with Carolyn Cheasman, at BSA's 2002 National Conference.

I first met Renée in 1975 when I did an intensive course at City Lit. My stammering was covert and this was well before they ran specific interiorised stammering programmes. I was drawn to Renée from the very beginning. It was a good course with great therapists but it did not really get to the heart of my particular issues. Renée recognised this and the solution she found was to offer to see me individually. Without this I think I would have found it hard to progress. I feel she literally helped me change my life.

I was an unemployed new graduate; Renée was enormously generous and payment seemed out of the question. We embarked on one-to-one therapy and she encouraged, cajoled and challenged me to step out of my comfort zone of avoidance and 'feel the fear and do it anyway', long before the book of that title was published! Therapy was not always orthodox - sessions scheduled to last an hour rarely did and tea and cake were often part of the process. Her kindness was enormous.

Renée knew I needed to get my life going in all sorts of ways and her approach was truly holistic. Soon I was enrolled on a touch typing course and an introduction to transcendental meditation (TM). Touch typing has proved enormously helpful and though I did not keep up the TM, Renée sowed the seed of something which has become central to my life, as I now teach mindfulness meditation.

Speech therapy had changed my life and I decided to train as a speech therapist myself. Renée believed in me when I did not fully believe in myself and was always encouraging in this endeavour. In due course we became colleagues as I got a job back at City Lit and over time our professional relationship turned into close friendship.

So what drew me to Renée way back when? Yes, I loved the stories and the humour and I knew I needed prods to get going. But more than this I think I sensed from the beginning that Renée really cared about people as individuals and saw the potential in everyone for change. She knew about great challenges from her own life and I'm sure these experiences helped her to help others with theirs. She helped me to change my life as she did with so many others she worked with.

"Renée really cared about people as individuals and saw the potential in everyone for change"

Sometimes a client asks me if therapists who do not stammer themselves can really help those who do. I have worked with and met many inspirational therapists who have never stammered and who have helped their clients through their great skill and understanding. Above all though, I can always answer this question with a categorical 'yes' because I was helped so much myself by a therapist who did not stammer.

Renée was a very special person and I am so grateful to have known her as a therapist, colleague and friend.

Carolyn Cheasman, Specialist Speech & Language Therapist, City Lit

Legacy

I met Renée around 30 years ago when I was in my twenties and Renée was 30 years my senior. Renée always seemed ageless – in her looks, manner, attitudes to social issues and her approach to learning new skills.

Together we developed postgraduate training courses for SLTs in the treatment of stammering. These took us all over the country for a number of years and above all, provided practical tools for SLTs to use in their work with clients who stammered.

Renée was generous and hospitable from the beginning. I stayed at her house when we were planning and working together; this was how our friendship developed alongside our collaborative work. We were very different in our personalities and teaching styles, and challenged and learned from each other continuously. Renée could always stand back from conventional views and see the real issues for students and clients that needed to be addressed – she used to regularly terrify me by declaring the night before a planned course, "We need to change the whole thing!" I learned to let go of my comforting structure, and it was always a better result in the end. When Renée put on her high heeled lecturing shoes I knew the show had begun.

Renée wrote her first self-help book Let's Talk about Stammering before we met. It was the first of its kind in the UK and was translated into many languages across the world, giving people who stammered access to reliable information about stammering for the first time. People have posted wonderful descriptions on the BSA website about how Renée's first book was a catalyst for change in their lives.

Renée impacted on so many lives as a therapist, teacher, and author, but she always had a healthy work/life balance in that she valued family and friendship before all else. In 2008 we spent a hard year working at a distance in Cornwall and London writing the new and very different version of the self-help book Stammering: Advice for all ages. Following its publication, and during Renée's retirement, we could finally stop talking about stammering and fully enjoy our friendship, sharing our love of film, theatre, art and books...and texting after 'Strictly'!

Renée's legacy is larger than most - in many people's lives and on the shelves of the British Library. A very special person indeed.

Louise Wright, Speech & Language Therapist, Specialist in Dysfluency at Cornwall Partnership NHS Foundation Trust and co-author of Stammering: Advice for all ages

Took a genuine interest

"Renée was different to any speech therapist I had been to before. Very sensible, wise and knowledgeable, but most importantly she truly cared"

I first met Renée in 2001 (I was aged 30). She had retired and was carrying out speech therapy privately from home. My stammer at that time was very difficult - I had developed a severe secondary symptom which involved me throwing a pen up into the air whenever I sensed or encountered a block. My self-esteem was low, heavily influenced by the burden of my stammer.

I soon began to enjoy and benefit from my visits to Renée. As a boy I had read her first book, and realised I was seeing a leading authority on the subject. She gradually developed my confidence: "Another 6 months and you?ll be fine", she would say. She gave me hope: "You have a postgraduate degree, a job many men would die for, you are fit and good looking" - she made me feel a lot better about myself! The therapy looked at what was going on inside (which was a lot of complicated, negative emotions) and also addressed the actual stammer by introducing me to a fluency technique. Renée installed in me a strong work ethic towards my speech which continues to stand me in good stead today. She taught me the importance of daily practice and would encourage me to telephone her at home as part of my morning speech warm-up routine. She was always very generous with her time and would send me long emails reminding me of things we had discussed.

Renée was different to any speech therapist I had been to before. Very sensible, wise and knowledgeable, but most importantly she truly cared. She took a genuine interest in my life. She'd ask me about cricket (one of my interests) and about details of my job. She was the first person I'd turn to during difficult times (with personal relationships, issues at work, etc). She would always seek to find the best way forward.

I could never gauge Renée's age. It was difficult because her outlook on life was very modern, her mind always sharp. I shall always be thankful. Very professional, she was also good fun with a lovely sense of humour. I am sad that she is no longer with us and feel privileged to have met her.

Clive Collins

The book Stammering: Advice for all ages by Renée Byrne and Louise Wright, is available to buy from our shop or by phoning 020 8983 1003.

From the Winter 2011/12 issue of 'Speaking Out', pp 24-26