Our son began to stammer when he was in the second year of kindergarten, aged 5½, in 1979. He enjoyed school from day one and proved to be a bright and intelligent pupil. It is hard to remember exactly when the normal dysfluency of a bright, talkative child became something which could be labelled 'a stammer' but the first time I remember being aware of it is when his teacher told me that she was concerned and thought we should speak with the speech and drama teacher who visited the school each week.

I now realise that this was the point at which I needed advice from a speech therapist but as a young parent I was happy to go along with what I perceived to be 'the experts', his teachers. Twice weekly ½ hour sessions with the drama teacher followed, enjoyable and well-meant though these were she knew little about the methods of help which were available.

He appeared to have no problems in the classroom or in his relationships with other children; in fact, our son was totally unconcerned about his stammer. Eventually though, he began to show signs of tension when he was about to stammer and I now think much of this was due to our own negative reactions. It is hard to believe now how ignorant I was of the subject and how difficult it was to find out anything about it.

The library had no books about stammering other than a couple of unhelpful paragraphs in a medical dictionary and Dr. Spock. If only I had been given leaflets and a list of reading material by his school at this stage we would have avoided much anguish. Eventually I rang our family doctor who seemed to know as little about stammering as the teachers I had spoken to and he put us in touch with the local clinic who, after a three month wait, were able to see us.

The therapist gave me very little information and once again there were no leaflets or lists or reading material offered and absolutely no advice on how best to handle the situation. We saw three different therapists and each time I felt we were starting from scratch as we were only given five sessions over the course of a year.

Abandoned therapy

We abandoned therapy. There didn't seem to be any problems at school, he was a popular member of his class, appeared in school plays and was a sunny and happy child. At eleven he was house captain and was entered for a scholarship to a prestigious grammar school, and accepted. This was quite an achievement as they made it clear that they accepted pupils who would be able to cope not only academically but also emotionally and socially to the hothouse environment, so up to this point the stammer did not provide many negative aspects in the school environment.

After much deliberation we decided not to take up the grammar school place, my husband thought that boarding school (which he had enjoyed) would give a more rounded education and I felt that his boarding would stop me being too over-protective as it is a great temptation to shield a stammering child from some of life's experiences in order to prevent hurt.

I didn't want him to be teased or ridiculed and even now I am fiercely protective of him in some situations (usually quite un-necessarily, but old habits die hard!) We chose a prep school ten minutes from home and the teachers there were generally sympathetic although offering no practical help or advice. His headmaster told me that I shouldn't worry about his stammer as he didn't think it was holding him back in any way, and I think that up to this point he was probably right.

It seems that the age of a stammering child has a lot to do with the way other people react. Most people, and this includes teachers as much as anyone, don't have any idea what to do when confronted with someone who is blocking or stammering and become embarrassed. However, the younger the child the easier they find it, indeed it can be very endearing and it was only when our son reached the teenage years and public school that he appeared to have a real problem with communication.

He was now an hour away from home instead of ten minutes and we saw him only once every two or three weeks instead of two or three times every week and most weekends. He was in contact with many more teachers and although some were patient, giving him time to express himself, others were not. The teenage years are difficult enough and I am unsure how many of his problems at this time were due to normal adolescent angst and how many to his dysfluency.

I was concerned enough to make another effort to get some help for him and once again I made phone calls and looked for information. This time I was more successful and the trail eventually led to The Michael Palin Centre for Stammering Children. For the first time in nine years I felt confident that here was somebody who would be able to help. It was not easy to attend a two-week intensive course, leaving our business, organising accommodation, dog-sitters and most difficult of all our younger daughter who was not prepared to be left behind, so she came too!

Superb course

The course was superb but why, oh why isn't this type of help available locally and why is it so difficult to find out about it? If there were the same amount of media attention given to stammering children as there is for dyslexic children, then perhaps the resources would follow so that every school and every teacher would know how to obtain help for their pupils and their parents.

Having found intensive therapy we then needed to arrange follow-up sessions at home and at school during term-time and this too was an uphill battle. We were fortunate in being able to speed things up by paying for private speech therapy otherwise we might still have been waiting.

Our son is now 18 and has completed his A levels at a local sixth form college and is about to go to university. He has coped admirably and he has gained great strength of character and confidence in his own abilities during the last few years. In all four schools he has attended, three in the private and one in the state sector, the lack of information and help is a sad reflection on the provision for dysfluent children in this country.

On a lighter note, having discussed the writing of this article with him and mentioning that I thought that stammering pupils should be given extra help in oral examinations he told me that he had found his stammer quite useful as it gave him more time to think!

From the "Helping Stammering Pupils Project" insert in the Autumn 1992 edition of Speaking Out