Gestalt Counselling helped Peter Cartwright to become a counsellor and trainer himself. He outlines what it is and how it impacted on his own stammer.

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As someone who stammers I wouldn't have believed years ago that I'd choose to work with my voice, yet here I am working as a counsellor and as a trainer. A big part of this change came through my interest in Gestalt Counselling, both as a client and as counsellor myself. Gestalt isn't a cure for stammering, which I don't believe exists. However it can have surprising results.

I avoided dealing with my stammering until I was 29, but then got off to a great start by doing a three week intensive at the City Lit. It was after that I started to become interested in Gestalt Counselling.

For those who may not know about Gestalt, here is what it is: Gestalt is one of the many ways of doing counselling and psychotherapy. The word 'Gestalt' is German. It doesn't translate exactly, but means both 'wholeness' and 'pattern': wholeness, as in seeing the whole of someone who comes into counselling - all their thoughts, emotions and actions, as well as the ways they relate to others and to the world around them; patterns, as in being curious about how someone lives their life - what their patterns, habits or ways are in how they live life, and their own 'logic' that underlies and makes sense of their patterns.

Gestalt counselling begins by the counsellor and client working together to explore whatever difficulty the client wants to work on. For someone who stammers this would include discovering their unique way of stammering. From looking at this, they would become aware of those unhelpful things they can change, such as self-critical attitudes about stammering; becoming anxious or embarrassed when stammering; avoiding speaking when they need to; and so on. Once someone is aware and can catch themselves doing what is unhelpful, they then have a choice: do it as they've always done it, or, experiment with a different way. Through experimenting someone gets to create new ways of coping and living in the world that are more satisfying. Often this happens in the safety of the counselling room first, before risking it outside. Alongside this work in becoming aware and creating new ways of being runs the building of self-support. This is developing those things we do that help us cope with life's stresses and strains, and provides the inner strength to risk being different.

"real change doesn?t come through trying or forcing ourselves to be someone we are not"

How it applied to me

To illustrate how this works in practice, here are examples from my life:

Through counselling I've come to see that I picked up in childhood the idea that "I shouldn?t stammer" and that I looked "stupid" when I did. I was teased by other children when I stammered and I picked up too the embarrassment of adults when I did. Like any child I just swallowed what others thought of me and then believed this was the truth. So, when I stammered I somehow thought "I shouldn't" and that "I look stupid" - no wonder I felt so bad about myself back then! I came to see that most of what I feared about stammering came from my own attitudes towards myself, because as an adult other people weren't half as concerned about stammering as I was. Being aware of this is helpful as I can now interrupt those beliefs and I don't follow what they 'say', and I can counter them with a more realistic and helpful attitude to speech.

One of the aspects of Gestalt I really value is the building of 'self-support'. For me this included
Recognising and accepting that I'll probably always stammer, so I fight myself less when I do;
Seeing stammering as just a part of me, not what defines me;
Developing my ability to be compassionate and reassuring to myself, rather than self-critical, when I do stammer.
My being less uncomfortable stammering influences who I'm speaking with to be okay about it too, which then helps me and I don't spiral down in embarrassment and anxiety.

As I became more aware and self-supporting, I didn't try so hard to stop stammering. Paradoxically I then stammered much less. This is an example of a great Gestalt insight into how people change, called the 'paradoxical theory of change'. This suggests that real change doesn't come through trying or forcing ourselves to be someone we are not, but happens through self-awareness, self-acceptance and developing ourselves to be who we really are - and who really knows what we are capable of?

Peter Cartwright is a Gestalt Counsellor in London: www.peter-cartwright.co.uk, tel 07939 402691.

From the Summer 2009 edition of Speaking Out, page 14.

Gestalt therapy